Please forgive me if this is a near stream-of-conscious blog.
I love reading the blogs of the other people I know in Haiti, but I am thinking about stopping. I have blog-insecurity. Reading Corrigan's, The Livesay's and Goat Path I am struck by how others focused their blogs are. And how ME focused my blog is. Am I arrogant and self-centered in my blogging? Is blogging anything other than being arrogant and self-centered?
There is something crazy going on with the stray dogs in our neighborhood. They are barking or fighting every night around 10. I wonder if this is seasonal. I remember this time last year thinking, "Man there are a lot of stray dogs out at night and they sure are LOUD." I have not thought much of it until recently. But I am prepared to act as a volunteer dog catcher... or um... exterminator.
Something stinks in our apartment. It smells like rotten broccoli and something else. Something dead-and-rotten. But there is a definate scent of moldy rancid broccoli. Which is really strange because we do not eat broccoli. I hate it even when it is fresh. So I am none to thrilled to have the scent assault me now.
Today was a very sober day at QCS. We had an afternoon chapel service to commemorate the 1 year anniversary of the earthquake. I swore up and down that I would not write the same, "Look it's one year later" pieces that I have read from most news outlets. No problem if that's what you want to do, it just didn't feel sincere to me. But this moment at QCS was sincere.
The place was heavy with mourning. Two seventh grade students shared memories of their fallen classmate, the only student from our school to die in the quake. One was so overcome with tears that she had to stop and gather herself midway through.
One of our parents, widowed a year ago today, sat on the back row. Her friend comforted her while her daughters sat in front of her. I cannot help but wonder how they were feeling. I pray for that family daily.
Another student talked about how meaningful being back at Quisqueya was for her after the earthquake and how she felt like it was one of best times for her. She thanked Katie for always being there for her last spring.
A pastor struggled through memories of lost friend and eased tension with a perfectly timed and appropriate joke. Then reminded us that His grace is sufficient for us all. He delivered what was a perfect ending to our time and one of the most honest reflections I have heard.
Media outlets want to talk about what isn't being done and point blame all around. However, this is what real right now- sorrow and hurt so real. A tightness in your chest. An indescribable agony at the utter magnitude of loss. A slight comfort that you know that everyone in the room is feeling it too.
Tomorrow we will be fasting and praying for this nation. We are also going to church service near the Champs de Mars to hear Mark Driscoll preach. Should be an interesting day. Viv Ayiti.