Friday, June 18, 2010

Pace

Often I write a blog and then let it sit for a few days to see if it makes any sense. Some times I delete everything and start over, sometimes I merely tweak. I wrote this on Tuesday and have been altering my opinions slightly. I wanted to post this and then how my opinions have changed (tomorrow) for a full view.

The pace is maddening here. I have no time to think. My calendar is absurd. Speaking, smiling, seeing, visiting- there is no time to hear anything.

People have asked if the adjustment has been hard. For the most part it hasn't- honestly, sometimes I wish being home bugged me more. But what gives me fits of anxiety and makes me want to run screaming to the nearest airport and hide in the cargo hold of the next plan to Port-au-Prince is how frantic life is lived in America. Honestly how does this country breathe?

Either out of necessity of furlough or inability to resist I find that Katie and I are racing through our time here like a top-fuel dragster goes through the quarter mile. Fast. And with lots of G-forces tearing at my body.

I fear that our time here will be spent without any quality conversations. But with plenty of 30-second updates that really don't communicate anything other than that I have a pulse.

I want to sit with my grandparents while they can still see me. I want to talk to my best friend before we both leave the lower 48. I want to know what God is doing in your life and to share with you what He is doing in mine. But before I do any of that, I need to sit still and figure it out.

Ben

2 comments:

  1. Ben, I don't really know you, but from reading your posts, I would guess you are a type A kind of guy (and Katie either is too or you are pulling her along with you, or maybe the other way around?). You are absolutely right about the crazy pace. Why are Starbucks (legal speed) and souped-up laptops (virtual snippet makers) so popular? I know you guys were kind of camping in Haiti, but maybe you need to take your bride on a trip to the Ozarks or Durango, CO or Montana? Rest my virtual laptop friend (as I drink a cup of joe). C ya, more friends, LOL.

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  2. I am probably Type A out of necessity. I would rather be Type B if left to my own devices.

    Katie is 100% Type A.

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