Tuesday, February 16, 2010

bubble, bubble, toil and trouble

not even sure where to start.

how about this... i cant figure out how to capitalize or punctuate on this keyboard.

our three days in santo domingo have been.... everything.

you know that story about the frog? apparently, if you drop a frog into boiling water, it will immediately leap out. but, if you put a frog in water and steadily heat it until its boiling, the frog will stay until it dies.

we're the frog. and haiti is boiling. and we didn't know we were boiling, too, until we got here.

it's like the floodgates have opened. we've cried a lot. mostly the first day, which was valentine's day, so that was super fun. the first feeling i felt when i saw the ocean was guilt. survivor's guilt? rich person guilt? who knows.

but we didn't leave pain back on the other side of the border. i got a pedicure yesterday... further source of guilt....as my valentine's gift from ben. first pedicure since my wedding 15 months ago. first time i've felt pretty since i moved to haiti. the pedicure lady, juana, and i had a conversation in my extremely basic spanish, and i told her that the people of haiti have so much pain. she replied, i have pain too. her best friend's five year old son died two months ago from asthma. who dies from asthma? i've never heard of such a thing in the states. but juana has.

we must look like the biggest brats...sitting at a beach hotel, tearing up in the line for the 'make your own omelette' station. but, the spirit is ministering to me. i listen to worship music, and he comforts me, he heals me, he strengthens me.

a day or two more, then back to the boiling pot. for many years i asked god to send me to the front lines, and he did. i'm ready. and i'm honored that he's allowed us to be his hands and feet to hurting haiti.

katie

13 comments:

  1. Katie & Ben

    Nobody feels like you are brats. You shouldn't either.

    Recharge and return.

    Tom in Tennessee

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  2. I pray for you and Haiti every day. I have been asking God to give you strength and help you not be overwhelmed or burned out. It sounds like this was a much needed break. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. I believe that God provided a much needed break for you. A time to recharge, a time to reflect, a time to face ther reality of all that you have endured in the past 6 weeks. Do NOT feel guilty. You are not brats. You are servants who needed a short break so that you can continue to serve in a difficult place at a very difficult time. Our prayers continue to be with you for strength and stamina, for health, for wisdom and safety. Much love to you both.

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  4. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.



    So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture…



    Romans 8:26-28, 31-39 The Message, by Eugene Peterson

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  5. Ben & Katie,
    Rest & be still.
    The passage above from Romans 8 was the passage I received this week with my weekly prayer requests from a prayer group "Faces of Children" that I am a part of. This group prays for children around the world & those who like you serve them.
    I prayed using this passage this morning & the phrase that came to me as a read your blog post was this one "That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."
    Every detail - maybe the time you spent getting your nails done was exactly where God needed you today.
    Trust & know. Often easier said than done.
    Rest & be still. Know we worship a truely awesome God.
    Still in my prayers,
    Vicky

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  6. Even Jesus needed (wanted?) to get in the boat and go to the other side. You guys have been working pretty much non-stop for many days. Getting burnt out helps no one. Enjoy, and thanks for what you do, and for showing us daily what only the Holy Spirit can do through a 'regular' person.

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  7. I know your hearts for the nations, for the lost, for the broken world. That is right. That is God in you.

    But also remember that God LOVES to LOVE on you! Yes, He does! It's okay to enjoy the way He chose to love on you!

    Have a listen to Crowder's Oh How He Loves Us and feel it. Then be renewed, so He can again move through you to the Haitian people!

    Love you guys deeply!
    Kim :)

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  8. Katie (and Ben),

    I have several friends on the mission field and when they come home, they often find it hard to receive the "indulgences" people offer them because they think of all those back in their "mission field" who are going without. But they have learned that it is all part of God filling them up so that they are ready to pour out once again. Sometimes, that means being pampered by a pedicure or enjoying a hot fudge sundae or a night in the most expensive hotel in town...whatever it is that allows them to unwind and feel refreshed so that they can rebuild and refocus and NOT reach a point of burnout.

    You all were victims of the earthquake just like every person living in Haiti on January 12th. You too were left in shock and wounded...inside. The difference is that you all did not get the opportunity to have people care for you. You immediately kicked into action caring for others and you haven't stopped since. So, you needed this time even more so than a missionary who has been on the field for 3-4 years, taking their scheduled "furlough".

    I am SO glad you were given this chance to get away..to take care of yourselves, to be pampered so that you can better serve those God has given you to serve. Do not for one second let the enemy steal the joy of the gift God gave you. God knew it was necessary...ALL of it.

    I continue to pray.

    Debbie

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  9. Debbie said: "You all were victims of the earthquake just like every person living in Haiti on January 12th. You too were left in shock and wounded...inside. The difference is that you all did not get the opportunity to have people care for you. You immediately kicked into action caring for others and you haven't stopped since. So, you needed this time even more so than a missionary who has been on the field for 3-4 years, taking their scheduled 'furlough'."

    this.

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  10. Katie, I offer you my experience and hope that it offers a peaceful perspective. When I am working every day without ceasing, it is hard to hear God's voice speaking to me, soothing me and guiding me. Rest allows me to be receptive to God's loving guidance and nurturance. When I am in the flow of allowing God to make my decisions for me, by listening to his will for me, then I feel peaceful. I wish that for you.

    I have been loving reading about your experience. I appreciate your openness about all that you are experiencing. You are a blessing!

    Vicki Lapp
    vicki@beadinspirations.com

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  11. No words eloquent or important enough to write in this little comment box right now. Katie and Ben, I love you both. I am praying and will continue. You guys are warriors and I am so proud to know you. Keep fighting the good fight and know we all love, support, and pray for you guys and everyone in Haiti. Blessings... L Beck

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  12. Katie,
    I have finally figured out how to send you a message. I thought I had to be on facebook. Silly me! Anyway, I have been without internet for a week because I was in Mexico on a my own bratty excursion, so just now updating my benkatiereading. So poignant that the Christian friends I was with had a long conversation on several occasions about how blessed we were to be watching whales from our balcony with so much suffering still going on. There is really no figuring it out is there? But...you and Ben are doing wonderful things and you don't feel one bit guilty. A weary soul can't do as much as one that is rested. You needed a break. You will continue to need a break. I want you to know that your picture is in my bible and Chip and I pray for you and all you touch daily. We love you and are so very proud of our little 3rd daughter. Even moms get weary from day to day chores and have to recharge. I (and your mom) remember that well. Read Ecclesiates. There really is a time for everything and a purpose. Loving and praying for you always. Jill (and of course Chip)

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  13. I love you, Katie Wilhoit Kilpatrick! You are such a humble servant. Remember God allowed Christ to leave the crowds of people in pain to refresh Himself, so He has done the same for you and Ben. You will be better servants for the rest you have had.

    Praying for you.

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